Don Carter Online

How in the World are You?                                                                   June 30, 2009 

"How in the World are you?", the email from a long time friend asked.

How in the World am I ? Hmmmm. I think I am ok. I have been divorced for a month now, although it seems like the attorneys are still treating us as if that weren't so. I suppose it is due to the settlement and following through to make sure it gets done. It seems a short time maybe because I have traveled so much this month, having been to Smiths Grove, KY and San Diego, CA, each for a week and then to  Honolulu, Hawaii for a week. Back to back trips have been a good way to kill time..... I spent last week painting and repairing things around the house getting it ready to list for sale so that the demands of the settlement agreement can be met. I like what Larry the Cable Guy says.....99% of the lawyers give the rest of them a bad name.

I will say that despite it not being what I wanted at this time in my life, I feel a ton of stress off my shoulders and out of my life. I have rediscovered part of me, hidden for too long. I am talking now to everyone and  anyone that will talk,  about anything that they want to discuss, in short I think that at one time in my life I was very outgoing, but being married changed me...or I allowed it to change me. I haven't found the balance yet.  I'm not in any hurry to "go out or date"....may never be, but that is down the road a ways. Right now I'm just hanging out with my daughters and family. I'm doing things and having fun with other friends and just relaxing. I'm learning to cook, and trying to manage a household of one. I'm drinking too much scotch (never thought I say that)...but only at appropriate times. I even got asked to dance at one of the clubs. I haven't done that in a very long time....and I remember why...I am not a good dancer.... but all in all LIFE IS STILL GOOD, and I am working at it. I am still seeing a counselor about once a month now, and going to a men's group at a church here in Orlando on Monday nights....and trying to repair my ego and my heart, and learning to care about Don and put him first for a while. After years of putting her and the girls first, Don got sort of lost in all of this.

It is kind of a mixed bag of emotions to be honest. I don't want to carry the baggage of not forgiving or being forgiven. I have seen too much of that in the last year. I am doing this while I watch everything I ever wanted and worked for disappear before my very eyes. This says everything and nothing, but that is how I am doing.

Maybe I should  have just left it at "I am doing ok."

And to my friends who remain, thanks for stopping by.

God Bless,

To read other of my commentaries on Life and Living click on  Monographs

 E-mail me at don@doncarter.org