Monographs 2011
Catching Up December 18, 2011
It has been a few months since I last added any comment to my site. Many positive things have happened to me of late. Some I would attribute to the passage of time and the old saying that time heals all wounds. Well maybe not all but certainly most. There are still some wounded and tender places in my heart and soul. I am not sure if time will ever heal all of them. Some wounds are my regrets of how others were affected by it. Maybe someday.
Other positive things though are a result of actions take by me or by others on my behalf. The net result is a forgiveness the past and an acceptance of the direction ahead. A softening of my hardness and a rounding of the rough edges. My life ahead will be different and offer opportunities for change. I am ready for the changes. Maybe they'll be noticeable if you know me. If you have just met me you'll assume I have always been that way. Never underestimate the value of a good therapist to help you chart your course and get you headed in the direction you were meant to go. So as I begin the journey, remember that no matter what, I love you.
And to my friends who remain, truthfully, thanks for stopping by.
Haunting Memories August 15, 2011
Sometimes you get a feeling that no matter what you do you just cant shake. It stays with you, every moment, of every day. Lately I have had that feeling. It is a feeling brought on by deep memories and regrets. They all reside in this place I have called home since March of 1977. For the last 2 plus years the memories of the previous 32 years come calling every day, every night, reminding me of the happy times we knew.
And to my friends who remain, truthfully, thanks for stopping by.
White Liar August 1, 2011
Miranda Lambert penned a song with the title "White Liar" a few years ago. The Chorus of the song goes like this,
Hey, white liar Truth comes out a little at a time
And it spreads just like a fire
Slips off of your tongue like turpentine
And I don't know why White liar ........
White lies are an interesting subject. Most every one has told them, for any number of reasons that we believed the truth wasn't
appropriate. There are the ones I've told, the ones I have been told, and the ones I have over heard being told. White lies are justified as
necessary and don't really count against us. I realize they do. Our character, or rather, our lack of character is revealed through them.
The ones that bother the me the most are the ones that are essentially true, but told to conceal something and repeated by those that
didn't know that they were white lies to begin with. For instance in a phone call " I am ten minutes from your house, and I will see
you in a few minutes." Where is ten minutes from your house? I wondered every time I heard that. Why didn't you call when you were
fifteen minutes from your destination? Or rather.. I am leaving such a place and I'll be there in an hour. That is what you want the person
to believe. But the phone call says "I am ten minutes from your house", concealing that you were really only fifteen minutes away.
Well, you know me, I am always curious about things people say and why they say it. Today I discovered where "ten minutes from your
house" is. And I also know found what was being concealed. That was another five minutes up the road. I know where that is as well.
If you listen carefully, "the truth does come out a little at a time, and it spreads just like a fire." And I now know why.
And to my friends who remain, thanks for stopping by
Civics Lessons April 4, 2011
In high school I remember sitting in Mr. Garrett's Class. Mr. Garrett taught social studies, geography and civics and government. I really can't say that I was overly excited to study these subjects, until we took some field trips. One such trip was to Judge Boston's court room in Bowling Green City Court. I think that was my first real practical understanding of the working of the court system. That was my first experience with the original Law and Order series. My second experience was appearing before him to try to retrieve my drivers license after a room mate borrowed it one night to use as identification when he went out bar hopping. He got stopped on the way home a showed the cop my license in order to avoid a ticket. I found out about it the next day. Although Judge Boston was somewhat sympathetic to my cause (ha) he sentenced me to go to drivers school as incentive to my promise not to allow my license to be used by another. A bitter pill but a learned lesson in the workings of plea bargaining.
Fast forward forty one years to my latest Law and Order experience, Jury Duty. A month or so ago I received my summons from the Clerk of the Court of Lake County, Florida. Not the first one I ever received, in fact probably the fifth or six one in my thirty eight years as a resident of Lake County. The difference in this one was that, instead of being in group number thirteen or fourteen as in the past and not being needed, I was in group number one. A definite signal that I was to report for duty. I actually was looking forward to serving on a jury and doing my civic duty. It would be nice to be in a court with the title of Juror, rather than Respondent. I was thinking I could offer the experience and wisdom that I had gained over the years back to my fellow citizens.
The deputy clerk gave us lots of do's and don'ts and readied us for the courtroom, the clerk swore us in and a judge made sure we were all eligible jurors. We were ready to hear cases. It looked like we would have two felony cases and civil suit to be chosen for. I secretly wanted the felony cases, remembering my code of justice... "I had rather set a guilty man free rather than imprison an innocent man for one minute". At least that sounded good to me. My fellow jurors were also anxious to get into court and pass judgment on the cases.
But it was not to be. After the deputy clerk came in to announce that the felonies had plea bargained and the civil suithad settled out of court, she thanked us for our service and dismissed us. We were done. No courtroom, no lawyers grilling the witness, no judges instructions, none of the scenes from "Twelve Angry Men" that had been playing in my head for the last three weeks, just a simple thank you and a dismissal.
I suppose that the expression "Those also serve, who wait" applied to the Lake County Jury pool for today. After all these years I had served, not in a way I had hoped, but simply because I was there.
And to my friends who remain, thanks for stopping by.
Sowing my Seeds March 26, 2011
Springtime just sort of slipped in on me while I was busy doing a few other things. I have had my annual bout with pollen and have survived it without too many pills. I have busied myself on the past few weekends by raking leaves and discovering that some time during the winter the grass in my front yard was stolen. I called 911 to report it but for some reason those guys don't like crank calls. Little was left except to fix the damaged sprinklers and plug up the leaks in the pipe, but with no sign of my lawn coming back in the past week, I decided to proceed with installing a new one.
This morning after all my weekend errands, I got serious about sowing some seeds. I have pretty well finished my wild oat sowing, so for the first time in my life I began trying to seed a lawn. I have raked and prepared the dirt and fertilized seeded and watered the front yard. I have no doubt that with in 3 to 28 days I will have a lush and verdant lawn that my neighbors will envy. I can envision Jim from down the street stopping as he drives by just to admire the thick velvet green carpet that I have been promised. And I will be in demand all across Eustis as a lawn growing expert as a full 100 per cent of those seed burst forth both their root and blade. I can hardly wait. But I wont hold my breath. I will keep you posted.
And to my friends who remain, thanks for stopping by.
Missing My Dog February 27, 2011
I remembered today, that it has been five years since our family pet, Maggie, a fine example of a Jack Russell Terrier, passed away. Strangely her death has had a more profound affect on me than many things that happened to me since that time ,except maybe for my divorce. I fondly remember the joy she brought to us as a family pet. The stub of a tail that wagged, or maybe it was her whole butt wagging, showed us how happy she was to see us, no matter how long we had been away. Five minutes or 5 days, it was the same.
Today I sat in my old green recliner, the one she shared with me, remembering the times I settled in for some television viewing after a days work and her squeezing her body in the small gap between my leg and the arm of the chair. How many naps did we take together while watching NASCAR on Sunday afternoons? I remember how she laid her muzzle on the edge of my laptop keyboard as I worked on a project from the office, waiting for a pat on the head, or a good scratch behind her ears.
Funny how small things come back to you at times like this. She gave her love and devotion unconditionally, something that we humans don't always do.
Maggie, I miss you!
Another Auld Lang Syne ? January 1, 2011
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and ne'er brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot and auld lang syne? I remember singing this on New Years Eve many years ago. I suppose my english literature teacher Miss McCombs or maybe Mr. Johnson taught us the words to the poem by Scottish poet Robert Burns. But as I reread it this year I noticed the question mark at the end of the lines. I did learn, in my rural Kentucky education, that the interrogative mark means a question has been asked. It is up to you to answer it.
Should I forget the old days and friends, or should I for the sake of the old days remember. Remembering is sometimes painful, but still there is a joy in times past. Old friends, true friends, friends that have moved on, friends that have passed, are the subject. Can you forget the old days and remember the friends, can you forget the friends and remember the old days? Are they too intertwined? In the poem Burns says:
We
twa hae run about the braes,
And pou'd the gowans fine;
But we've wander'd mony a weary fit
Sin' auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl'd in the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us briad hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne.
Simply put I think he is saying that we have lived, played and worked together, had good times and bad together, but for what ever reason a broad expanse has come between us. And for the sake of the old times my friend, I choose to remember.
For auld lang syne.
And to my friends who remain, thanks for stopping by.