New Page 1

Since the days of my recent unpleasantness, I have often found that it was necessary to do some substantial house cleaning despite the fact that I am the Castle on Oak Court's only resident. I'm the King, Queen, Prince, Princess and French Maid all rolled into one. Now I am certainly not uncomfortable with some of the roles that I have to play. Take for instance the role of King....King Don, is a jovial soul and very easy to get along with since the banishment of the old guy that once lived here left. He wasn't a bad sort but he did have some issues that needed resolution. Thanks to professional help I hear he is better and hoping to move to Aruba to retire. Then there is the Queen......well I m not sure I'll even go there....and the same for the Princess as well. Ah but the Prince...he lives a life of leisure here at the Castle doing nothing of value except every so often a valiant attempt to rescue a fair damsel in distress. Me thinks the Prince needs a bit more practice, after all practice make perfect.

That leaves only the French Maid role left to discuss. It is only the King's pretentious nature (and lack of a Queen) that require a servant such as this. Yet routinely on the week end, the French Maid makes an appearance and dusts the Castle from spire to dungeon leaving no trace of what the King and worthless Prince leave laying around in their thoughtlessness. Just today the French Maid scrubbed the King's privy from top to bottom, cleaning his vanity drawer and top, cast away expired potions from his apothecary cabinet, cleaned his looking glass, and bathtub, mopped the floors and with a flourish and some Sno-Bowl cleaned and polished his THRONE, leaving it spotless and once again useable. The role of French Maid may not be the most fulfilling during the time the work is being done, but the rewards are good. While the King admires the polished throne, the French Maid finds the hidden bottle of Power's Gold Label Irish Whiskey, pours a double, kicks off the high heels, put the feet up and turns on the Military Channel.

I look for bits and pieces if wisdom everywhere, and find them in the oddest places. This one I found in a story told a friend related to me a few days ago. There are several nuggets in here.

An old woman prospector shuffled into town leading a tired old mule. The old woman headed straight for the only saloon to clear her parched throat. She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "hey Old woman, have you ever danced?" The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "no, I never did dance... never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet. The old woman prospector - not wanting to get her toe blown off -started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still Laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "son, have you ever licked a mule's butt? The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "no ma'am...... but...... I've always wanted to." There are a few lessons for us all here: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don't waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. 4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Every year I think about the things I learned. Practical things about living my life and I try to apply them. The past is gone and wont return. I think we learn some lessons too late, so now learning is for each moment I have left. I adopted....and adapted these bits of wisdom. I hardly know who wrote them or thought about them originally, but I collected and weigh them often in my mind and heart. Feel free to do the same. Some lessons came easily to me, others I learned the hard way....but that is life. These are not in any order of importance except to me.

# I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

# I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back

# I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

# I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

# I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.

# I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.

# I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

# I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

# I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.

# I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

# I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.

# I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

# I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

# I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

# I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

# I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else     to take its place. (Amen to that!)

# I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

# I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.

# I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

# I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

# I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.

# I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kind of happy about it.

# I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

# I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

# I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they     have.

# I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less     to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

# I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if   she believed it

# I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of     you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't always biological.

# I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive      them for that.

# I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

# I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

# I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

# I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

# I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it     doesn't mean they do.

# I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

# I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

# I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.

# I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

# I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.

# I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

# I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

# I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

# I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

# I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.

# I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

# I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out, you will find the strength to help.

# I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.

# I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

# I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

# I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.

# I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing      up for what you believe.

I saw him as I checked in with the airline and headed for security. He was young and maneuvered through the maze with ease despite the load he carried. She followed closely protective, almost hovering at each switchback in the TSA line. The agents silently did their job, x-raying the luggage and doing the perfunctory metal checks. He had a few issues but they were quickly resolved and they moved forward. I lost sight of them for a bit but as I approached my gate, I stopped for a coffee and heard them talking behind me in line.

I didn't want to stare, but you can't help doing so. He was a young man, maybe 25 years old and strapped in a wheel chair. Across his lap laid his legs. Two mechanical marvels.

I took a chance and said to him, "thank you for your service and your sacrifice." His training and demeanor shown through as he looked me in the eyes and said "You are welcome" and he added "thank you." I wasn't sure what the thank you meant. Was it a simple acknowledgement of my thanks, or was it more? Maybe he needed to talk, so I asked him who he served with. He told me and he added "I'm a combat engineer." I knew the rest of the story having seen it before. "How long?" I asked, leaving it open so that he could answer anyway he chose. He chose to tell me the date he lost his legs. October 2010.

It felt like I was over my head in this conversation. I have no way of knowing his loss, his pain or frustrations, but still he wanted to talk. He made a comment about his titanium and I asked how he was getting on with them. He smiled and said most days I am ok with it.

The counter person delivered our orders, and as they turned to head for their gate, I could only utter another "Thanks." he smiled and nodded and wheeled away.

I stood a moment wishing I could have said more, thinking he and all of our young men deserve more that they get from us. I remember what on soldier of the war of my generation, Viet Nam, said to me a few years ago, Don, a Thank you for you service is enough, we just didn't want to be forgotten.

It is mid- August , the dog days of summer. Hot and humid here. Thunderstorms rumble and the lightning flashes so quickly that the dark sky has a constant high noon intensity. The wind from the storm pushes its way forward picking up lawn chairs and garbage can lids and depositing them down the street on a neighbors yard.

The little cul-de-sac street I live on has yards, not lawns. But it wasn't always that way. When I moved into this house it had a LAWN. And a fine lawn it was. There were no weeds in my lawn in 1977, no stray blades of some mutant grass, no impurities at all. In fact most of the houses had lawns. But slowly despite the application of fertilizer, and weed killer and water, things changed. Slowly my lawn became a yard. The variant grass began to pop up in spots where the Lawn got too much sun or too little water or fell prey to the dreaded lawn pests. Those strains grew well, and I accepted, them, welcomed them because at least they were green. The transition was slow and I hardly noticed the change.

The point to me is this. We begin our life and most of us have high expectations about how we will lead those lives. Some how things change and our high expectations are lowered, bit by bit, day by day, month by month, and year by year. Things change. Variant blades creep in and take root in those neglected areas of too much sun...or stress, and too little joy, or an outright attack by some invading pest that steals, that which we fail to nurture properly.

I have learned a few things from my yard. With the right amount of fertilizer, water, pest control and a nurturing hand, it can be a Lawn again. And I wonder when I will.

I got an email this week from a friend of long standing. To tell you how long I have known her would not be kind. Let's just say it has been a while. One of the things I like about her is that she gets right to the point, to the heart of the matter. Except for two things that she said in the email, she could have been talking about how hot it was or what' s happening with the construction of her new house, which was by the way what she was talking about. (Most of the time I pay attention to what's being said.)

The discussion had started a few days earlier with my going to the doctor and although I am in reasonably good health I commented on the emotional side of my life. She said that she wished I had someone to hangout with that is special in my life. I thought me too. Then she followed with "maybe you aren't trying hard enough." Ouch I thought... but as a friend of long standing, I heard her words. Then she ended with "I worry about you." That's what friends do

So as I thought about what she said I began this little conversation with myself. It's not exactly how it went, but I change some of the words for public consumption.

*Naw, it doesn't work that way, don't you remember? It finds us when we least expect it.

Yeah I know, but neither of those felt right. They were ..... too different to be friends.

*There you go. We went out to listen to some music and have a drink...we weren't looking for anyone....

That's not true......We always were hoping to meet someone that we were attracted to...and maybe them be attracted to us ...even a litte.

Well yeah....that's what I thought we were doing... I mean all the advice people had for us....

* There you go again with the excuses ....what ifs can be can be positive too.....

* I mean...maybe we'll meet some one and begin to get to know them and become friends?

* Only to get to know someone nice....and friendly who know they might become someone special....

My job often allows me to do things in my off hours that I enjoy, but don't always have the opportunity to do in my adopted hometown of Eustis, Florida. To that end when possible I try to take advantage of the opportunity. A recent trip to the Baltimore area found me in the position and I decided to go and watch the great American game. It is interesting to me that baseball survives in our fast paced culture, but it does and it thrives as well in many places. A warm summer night and a great seat behind the home team dugout, second row back, about two thirds of the way down the first base line, reminds me of how much better the game is live than on television.

In the ball park, this modern facility still working out its memories and legends, fresh with paint and bricks and steel, I take in the ambiance of it all. One does not get the feel, the sounds and smells that accompany being present here while sitting in a comfortable recliner in your living room. The game doesn't lend itself to being presented on a 42" television screen. Here you can feel the excitement of the home team taking the field for warm-ups. Here you can see the the pride of a father standing behind his young son as the small boy holds out a pen and program asking players for their autograph, and once received the smile that they share, a silent "thanks for bringing me to the game Dad" as another memory is made and they head back to their seats.

The introduction of the coaches and the starting lineup and finally the Singing of the National Anthem, tonight sung by the students of Saint So and So School's kindergarten class made up of two dozen kids crowded around their teacher and singing loudly and very much off key, "Oh say can you see?" and ending finally with "and the home of the brave" to lots of applause and flashing cameras belonging to more proud parents and grand parents.

Finally the call to "PLAY BALL". I take a bite of my hotdog, and a sip of my beer and think to myself, "Life is good despite everything I have been through." As I settle in to watch the game, I say a silent prayer of thanks to God for the blessing of the night.

I know many people are cynical and think that the major sports leagues are just big businesses running amuck in our world, but that night I saw baseball, the way it was meant to be played. Not played by multi-million dollar stars. I watched the kind of game I prefer to watch. The players give it all trying to get the recognition to be moved up to another level, in hopes of making the majors. I know as they do, that most of them will never see the major league of which they dream. It doesn't stop then from dreaming though.

That night, the Aberdeen Iron Birds beat the Jamestown Jammers by a score of 8 to 1. The home team won, and that night I was at peace. A memory made and a reminder to keep pushing forward a step at a time.

According to my calculations today is the third Friday the thirteenth of the year 2012. Check me if you have learned to not trust me of late. I don't lie to you...but I do sometimes stretch the truth a bit. I'll give you the answers to make it easier. We started with this unusual event in January, followed by April and now July. I don't know the significance of having three in a year but that is the most you can have in a year.

I never put a lot of thought into the matter of Friday the thirteenth being unlucky. But I may have to revisit that question given that I always heard that the third time was the charm.....bad luck comes in threes and three's a crowd. Lets look at the year so far............ OK that's enough. I am getting pretty good at not dwelling on the negative any more. So I have treated this day...at least so far .... as I would have any other Friday. I celebrate the weekend. I am looking forward to taking some time to smell the roses tonight. I am at peace with everyone today. Everyone!!!!! It should have been a payday, but that will happen soon, and all of the good things in my life that I had, that I currently have, and the good things to come I owe to my Creator.

Bad luck? Losing my job, getting downgraded from Platinum to Gold by Delta Air Lines, and having to call a plumber on Sunday twice this year? Nope not bad luck. Heck that is just life happening around me. Let it happen. I've seen it before. I have also seen a job handed to me because I was wanted. I've been upgraded to first class on Delta for a trans ocean flight for no reason, except the agent liked my attitude. And I just happened to have the cash available to pay the plumber when I needed it.

So if it were possible to have four Friday the Thirteenths in a year, I don't believe it would affect me negatively. I might win the lottery then, who knows?

We have had a couple of really nice evenings. Tonight I am enjoying the evening on the patio with just the torches burning, and a glass of cabernet, waiting for the moon to show its face on this side of the house. A friend has advised me, "Do not rush the moon as it takes its orbit in time. And enjoy your cabernet as the evening progresses."

There is a cooling breeze blowing and the smell of the confederate jasmine still lingers in the air. I need a faithful dog at my side or a faithful woman to share my cabernet and laugh at my jokes............either is acceptable to me.

I can believe that it is already April. It seems like just yesterday I was Christmas shopping and trying to figure out how I was going to get it done. And today was Easter. I am amazed that the time is going by so fast. Much of life just seems to zip by without giving any notice to us. I'd like for it to slow just a bit to something slower than warp speed.

I haven't spent as much time updating this page as I should have. The only excuse is I have been busy. And since I haven't discussed this with a certain person, I will just leave it at that. I will say that I am thankful that God has smiled on me. Life is good.